Justification Template 3: A Template of Utter Nonsense

For the discerning user who needs to justify the most preposterous of claims, we present Justification Template 3.

This template is ideal for when the truth is not only unimportant, but actively subversive to the narrative you are trying to create.

Use with reckless abandon, but be warned: the more you use it, the more likely you are to be called out by your aunt at Thanksgiving dinner.

Justification Template 4 for the truly out-of-control situation. Justification Template 2 for a more... let's say, 'diplomatic' approach.